A Woman Meditating Outdoors -7 Ways Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover Sandra Harewood Counselling

7 Ways Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover

Hard to imagine that sitting quietly and focusing on the breath for as little as 20 minutes a day can improve your love life. But hear me out, practising mindfulness can help make you a better lover and life partner.
Teen boy with his feet hanging out of a car window - Teen boy with his feet hanging out of a car window - Childhood Wounding Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling Childhood Wounding Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

A Little Known Fact That Could Affect Your Relationship

We all have a past. It's part of the unique story that makes you who you are.  Being overly preoccupied with the past perhaps isn’t helpful; but there are undoubtedly important things from your history which, when worked through, can help you fully experience the present and look forward to enjoying a future filled with rewarding relationships. I often notice with clients how difficult it often is for them to connect with any childhood wounding. Telling the story can feel like a betrayal of a parent, particularly if they identify with difficulties in their parent's story. For example, if the parent was ill, abandoned by a partner, suffered bereavement, or had their own history of trauma. It’s often easy is to connect with and understand the parents’ hurt. But, what this means is leaving the experience of the child (you) out of the story.
Scissors between a man and woman paper doll - What An Affair Can Tell You About Loss

What An Affair Can Tell You About Loss

An affair leaves a trail of pain, hurt and guilt in its wake.  There's no escaping that. Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal.  Whether you stay together or not, an affair marks an ending in the relationship.  All of a sudden, the spell of the romantic phase is well and truly broken. Betrayal threatens your emotional safety. It shakes any sense of a secure attachment.  The anger and hurt emotionally split you apart. Inevitably, things won't be the same again. How you relate to each other, communicate, how you trust each other and how intimate you are all change.
Couple Throwing Colored Holi Powder at Each Other For Fun - 24 Ways To Be Playful With Your Partner - Sandra Harewood Counselling

24 Simple Ways To Be Playful With Your Partner - Part 2

Last time I wrote about How Playfulness Can Help Improve Your Relationship. If you missed part one of the series of click here to read that now. Two of the main reasons why couples in long-term relationships separate are boredom and lack of intimacy.  So it follows that play, enjoyment and fun are vital to keeping a sense of connection between you and your partner. Here are 24 simple things you can do to bring back playfulness in your relationship.
A Woman Blowing Bubbles - How Playfulness Can Help Improve Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

How Playfulness Can Help Improve Your Relationship - Part 1

We've just had one of the hottest summer days here in the UK since 1979. It brought back memories of childhood. The chimes of the ice cream van, Fab ice lollies, getting soaking wet in the paddling pool at the local park and eating chicken on the beach with family. Glorious summer; it's a time for play!
Rows of Different Vibrant Coloured Macarons - The Mistake Couples Make That Destroys Harmony - Sandra Harewood Counselling

The Mistake Couples Make That Destroys Harmony

Brexit is not only shaping politics; it’s influencing romantic relationships too!  It’s a little under a year ago since that historic vote for the UK to leave the European Union. And as the negotiations get underway, it’s a time of change.  We find ourselves in challenging and uncertain times. For some, this feels liberating and exciting.  At last, it’s possible to imagine the end of an unhealthy relationship and look forward to starting over. Then again for others, nothing could further from the truth.  A security blanket has been pulled from under their feet.  And what was familiar for such a long time, together with their sense identity and belonging are now all at risk. And there it is; difference.
Gold "THANK YOU" balloon letters hanging on the wall =How Showing Your Partner Appreciation Can Help Improve Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

How Showing Your Partner Appreciation Can Help Improve Your Relationship

What was the first thought you had about your partner this morning? For instance, was it I so feel happy? Wow, I can't' wait to spend the rest of the day with him? I feel safe and secure in this relationship? On the other hand, was it annoyance with the snoring, fed up because they haven't brought you your morning cup of tea...again, cross about his messy pile of clothes on the floor or perhaps irritable following an argument the night before?
Two Boys Dressed as Caped Superhero's - What's Your Role in The Drama Triangle - Sandra Harewood Counselling

What's Your Role in the Drama Triangle?

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship thinking that you are always cast in the role of the ‘bad one’? Or perhaps you feel that your partner doesn’t take responsibility, waits for something to happen and then complains when it does.
A Single Red Love Heart on Pile of Plain Wooden Hearts – What Does Love Mean - Sandra Harewood Counselling

What Does Love Mean Anyway?

Sometimes love is difficult to understand. You only know it when you feel it and then you recognise it. When you fall in love you feel bewitched, excited and you see the world differently, it feels full of new possibilities. When you fall out of love you feel abandoned, hurt, and miserable; your heart aches. This is often the point when you find yourself in couples or marriage counselling.
A Stack of Old well Read Books - Books to Help Heal a Broken Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

5 Essential Books to Help Heal a Broken Relationship

When I work with couples many want to know what they can do in between sessions to deepen the impact of counselling. For others, because things feel so strained, it’s difficult to even contemplate doing that. Sometimes, only the counselling room with the support of counsellor feels safe. So, I usually see clients for 60 minutes a week; but then what?