If you are a survivor of childhood wounding or trauma, adult relationships can feel complicated.

What is Childhood Wounding?

Almost everyone realises that what happens to us in childhood has an effect upon who we become as adults.  The good and the bad.  Some children experience terrible and unacceptable abuse or neglect at the hands of an adult.  Others are raised by people who most probably did the best they could but still fell short in meeting the child’s emotional needs. In some ways, this is more difficult to recognise and acknowledge.

Ultimately, it all has an impact.

When you have suffered the pain and hurt of abuse it can be understandably difficult to reach out and confide in others. Your trust has been damaged.  And if you’re used to not having your emotional needs validated you may also have a difficult time trusting and understanding the feelings of others.

The Impact of Childhood Wounding on Relationships.

When we are wounded and hurt we defend.  It’s like a safety switch which is there to protect and help you survive.  In your adult life, these defences can be difficult to regulate and switch off.  When that happens instead of helping, you feel in the grip of them.

You may also have internalised messages from those who hurt you, which leave you experiencing feelings of shame, lack of confidence and poor self-esteem.

All of this means that your adult relationships may feel difficult and unsatisfying.  You might find it hard to set boundaries, trust or be intimate with your partner or express affection.  You may also find it difficult to regulate your emotions which can feel unsafe for both you and or partner.  For some, it simply feels impossible to form a close romantic relationship at all.

How I Work With Childhood Wounding

Counselling provides you with a safe space where you can talk confidentially.  You will be able to look at your current relationships and begin to work out how your old patterns and strategies are showing up.  As you come into relationship with them you will begin to notice how they continue to serve you or get in the way, of meaningful relationships.

With understanding, you can explore what role you want your protective strategies to have in your life.  You can learn how to foster self-compassion, recognising that you may still need some of these defences, but need not be led by them.  They don’t have to drive the bus.  As you do, you will gradually let go of some and finding new strategies to support you being in healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Contact Me Today to Talk

Start the journey to recovery and find out more about how to counselling can help heal your childhood wounds.

Call 07535 864836 or click the Get in Touch button for a FREE 15-minute consultation.  I will get back to you as soon as possible.