Woman Holding Smart Phone In hand In Front of Her Face - Recognise It! What You Should Know About Narcissistic Abuse [Infographic] - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Recognise It! What You Should Know About Narcissistic Abuse [Infographic]

 

How do you know if your relationship is abusive?

Are you simply two people who get triggered and can’t figure it out sometimes?  That wouldn’t be uncommon.  Maybe you feel guilty because you’ve not shown up as you best self.  And we all do things at times we regret. Read more

A young beautiful black-haired girl dressed in a white T-shirt and white shorts lying on her side in a room on a wooden parquet in a square painted with a white paint, bending her legs in a lap and pressing them against her chest and hugging them with a hands. Top view - How To Protect Yourself When Self-Isolating With A Controlling Partner - Sandra Harewood Counselling

How To Protect Yourself When Self-Isolating With A Controlling Partner

Home isn’t always a safe place.

And even if you do feel okay, maybe home it isn’t always a calm, peaceful place. Read more

Box of Coloured Eggs With Painted Faces - Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn't Funny - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn’t Funny

 

Many people assume that verbal abuse is just about swearing.  And some go one step further by thinking that swearing is only abusive if it’s attached to name-calling. If they didn’t call you an #@$%ing [insert], then they haven’t been abusive. Read more

Black Woman With Afro Smiling - The Power of Owning Your Suppressed Anger: Reclaiming The Goddess

The Power of Owning Your Suppressed Anger: Reclaiming The Goddess

 

In my earlier post, The Honest Truth About Your Partner’s Anger Issues, I talked about how to tell the difference between abusive anger and healthy anger.  If you haven’t read that make sure you do because it will help you understand that there is such a thing as healthy, honest anger which deepens intimacy in loving relationships. Read more

Woman Hiding Behind a Smiley Face Picture, Behind Bars - Coercive Control: 7 Reasons Why Women Don't Leave - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Coercive Control: 7 Reasons Why Women Don’t Leave

 

When Sally Challen walked free from the Old Bailey in London last Friday, many saw this as a landmark decision for how the legal system treats domestic abuse. European countries, including England and Wales, are taking the lead on redefining domestic abuse.  And slowly there has been a build of awareness about a particular aspect of this, i.e. coercive control. Read more

Frightened woman with her arm outstretched with the word stop written on her hand. The Honest Truth About Your Partner's Anger Issues. Sandra Harewood Counselling

The Honest Truth About Your Partner’s Anger Issues

 

What we have called anger may be abuse – David Richo

You can usually tell when someone is angry. It’s visceral. A raised voice, trembling, fidgeting, fast speech, heavy breathing, the furrowed brow, the clenched hand or maybe flared nostrils. But equally, it can be the opposite. Silence or sudden disappearance.

Often couples come to counselling naming a problem with anger in the relationship, anticipating that better communication and anger management skills would help solve the problem of endless conflict.

The problem is, however, that abuse and anger look similar. Read more

Old Gas Lantern In A Window - Gaslighting 101: What Is Gaslighting And What You Need To Do -Sandra Harewood Counselling

Gaslighting 101: What Is Gaslighting And What You Need To Do

 

Gaslighting is a sophisticated, subtle form of emotional manipulation which is so effective that you accept whatever the gaslighter presents as the truth. Read more

Couple Gazing At Water - 5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

 

When in your relationship do you feel cared for?

Sometimes we feel embarrassed about our wish to be cared for. But Rick Hanson PhD says that wanting to be cared for is natural, and deeply rooted in evolution. Care is a symbol of love. And love, generally speaking, has been the primary driver of the development of the human brain over millions of years. Care is crucial to survival. Read more

How To Make Sense of Your Anxiety Symptoms: Trust Your Body

How To Make Sense of Your Anxiety Symptoms: Trust Your Body

In my previous blog post, I wrote about How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Causing You Anxiety. Now let’s address your anxiety symptoms.

Anxiety is common. In 2013 there were 8.2 million cases of anxiety in the UK. So if you’re experiencing anxiety symptoms, you are not alone. Read more

Yellow Caution Tape - 9 Warning Signs of Narcissism In Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

9 Warning Signs of Narcissism In Your Relationship

 

When the need for self-confirmation becomes extreme, then you enter the domain of potentially unhealthy or pathological narcissism. Read more