Female Lego Toy In Glass Container With Male Lego Toy The Other Side of The Glasswork Looking In - How To Stay Connected When Social Isolating COVID19 - Sandra Harewood Counselling

How To Stay Connected When Self-Isolating In Trying Times

The world has changed in a couple of weeks.

Less than a month ago, I was happy shaking hands with acquaintances. I was feeling comfortable travelling on a busy bus interacting with strangers and enjoying a conversation with the sales assistant inside the supermarket. Read more

Stressed Woman With Her Hands Covering Her Face - What Your Physical Symptoms Can Teach You About Hidden Stress

What Your Physical Symptoms Can Teach You About Hidden Stress

Over the next few weeks, I’m creating a series of posts describing how controlling and unhealthy relationships with partners who are narcissistically wounded and or emotionally immature can impact your health and your relationship with your body in challenging ways.

Today I’m focusing on stress and your physical health – the mind-body connection. Read more

Man And Woman Laying Down Head To Head Holding Hands - Why Attachment Styles Matter to Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Why Attachment Styles Matter To Your Relationship

Have you ever wondered why your partner always seems to want to escape when you argue? 

Or perhaps why you always seem to be the one trying to get them to stay in the room and make things better.

It might all be down to attachment styles. Read more

Box of Coloured Eggs With Painted Faces - Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn't Funny - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn’t Funny

 

Many people assume that verbal abuse is just about swearing.  And some go one step further by thinking that swearing is only abusive if it’s attached to name-calling. If they didn’t call you an #@$%ing [insert], then they haven’t been abusive. Read more

Girl Standing In Front of Brick Wall With Graffiti - The B* Word - Boundaries. Why It's Hard To Stop Saying Yes When You Feel No 1 - Sandra Harewood Counselling

The B* Word – Boundaries. Why It’s Hard To Stop Saying Yes When You Feel No

 

Ever found yourself giving in and putting the needs of someone else first or second-guessing yourself?  Can you relate?  Then you know why setting personal boundaries are so hard. Read more

Frightened woman with her arm outstretched with the word stop written on her hand. The Honest Truth About Your Partner's Anger Issues. Sandra Harewood Counselling

The Honest Truth About Your Partner’s Anger Issues

 

What we have called anger may be abuse – David Richo

You can usually tell when someone is angry. It’s visceral. A raised voice, trembling, fidgeting, fast speech, heavy breathing, the furrowed brow, the clenched hand or maybe flared nostrils. But equally, it can be the opposite. Silence or sudden disappearance.

Often couples come to counselling naming a problem with anger in the relationship, anticipating that better communication and anger management skills would help solve the problem of endless conflict.

The problem is, however, that abuse and anger look similar. Read more

Couple Gazing At Water - 5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

 

When in your relationship do you feel cared for?

Sometimes we feel embarrassed about our wish to be cared for. But Rick Hanson PhD says that wanting to be cared for is natural, and deeply rooted in evolution. Care is a symbol of love. And love, generally speaking, has been the primary driver of the development of the human brain over millions of years. Care is crucial to survival. Read more

Yellow Caution Tape - 9 Warning Signs of Narcissism In Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

9 Warning Signs of Narcissism In Your Relationship

 

When the need for self-confirmation becomes extreme, then you enter the domain of potentially unhealthy or pathological narcissism. Read more

Doormat With Oh Shit Not You Again In Words - Why It's Hard To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Say No - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Why It’s Hard To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Say No

 

It’s painful when you find yourself in a relationship continually giving more than you receive. And yet at the same time, it’s hard to stop being a people pleaser.  In fact, it’s a role that you’ve become all too used to.

And really, why would you want to do that, even to the point of being unhappy, stressed, resentful, and physically and emotionally ill?

The answer: Read more

Young woman looking through the train window with a serious mood - Echo's Story - How Living With Narcissism Affects You - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Echo’s Story – How Living With Narcissism Affects You

 

In my previous blog post, I wrote about the story of Narcissus and Echo to give you clues as to whether you are living with someone with a narcissistic personality.  If you didn’t read it click here to check it out.

That post was about understanding the modern day Narcissus.  Now it’s Echo’s turn and how living with narcissism affects you. Read more