Over the next three weeks, I’m deeply diving into the unconscious ways you block intimacy in your marriage. This week we’re going to look at transference in relationships. Read more
A relationship that feels normal does not mean that it is healthy. Learn how to recognise the signs of unhealthy relationships to create a new normal.
I have sat with many couples, both personally and professionally, who are grappling with the impact of an affair on the relationship. An emotional affair can be particularly confusing.
Let’s have a chat about common myths around marriage.
Stories about relationships date back to time immemorial. Read more
What kind of relationship are you co-creating? A relationship is co-created by the couple and has a life of its own.
When working with couples in couples therapy, I consider the relationship the third person sitting in the room and on the chair with the couple. Think about that for a minute.
All our silences in the face of racist assault are acts of complicity. Bell Hooks
I am sure that you like me have been impacted, in one way or another, by events in the world right now. For sure, George Floyd’s death has undoubtedly engaged the collective consciousness into action on racism. Read more
How do you know if your relationship is abusive?
Are you simply two people who get triggered and can’t figure it out sometimes? That wouldn’t be uncommon. Maybe you feel guilty because you’ve not shown up as you best self. And we all do things at times we regret. Read more
Home isn’t always a safe place.
And even if you do feel okay, maybe home it isn’t always a calm, peaceful place. Read more
Many people assume that verbal abuse is just about swearing. And some go one step further by thinking that swearing is only abusive if it’s attached to name-calling. If they didn’t call you an #@$%ing [insert], then they haven’t been abusive. Read more
When Sally Challen walked free from the Old Bailey in London last Friday, many saw this as a landmark decision for how the legal system treats domestic abuse. European countries, including England and Wales, are taking the lead on redefining domestic abuse. And slowly there has been a build of awareness about a particular aspect of this, i.e. coercive control. Read more
What we have called anger may be abuse – David Richo
You can usually tell when someone is angry. It’s visceral. A raised voice, trembling, fidgeting, fast speech, heavy breathing, the furrowed brow, the clenched hand or maybe flared nostrils. But equally, it can be the opposite. Silence or sudden disappearance.
Often couples come to counselling naming a problem with anger in the relationship, anticipating that better communication and anger management skills would help solve the problem of endless conflict.
The problem is, however, that abuse and anger look similar. Read more