Struggling to decide if you should stay in your marriage or get divorced?
This profoundly life-changing decision is never made in haste, nor should it be.
In this 12-week programme, let me guide you to discoverclarity and make the right decision for yourself and the marriage with the increasedconfidence to take new and bold steps to secure your future and the loving relationships you deserve.
You’re looking for someone to give you the tools to be your partner's therapist so that they can change.
You believe life isn’t fair, and your unhappiness is bad luck or fate.
You want someone else to decide on divorce for you and join your list of advisors alongside your mum, siblings and friends.
You think all you need to do is read more about, understand and talk about narcissism and codependency.
You really need therapy to process unresolved abuse, trauma or attachment issues.
You're looking for someone with a magic wand.....just so that you know I don't have one!
But you are in the right place if
You’ve been considering divorce but are struggling with the decision, feeling torn.
You're continually dreaming of escaping your marriage and responsibilities.
You've been agonising over whether to leave your marriage for so long that you're bored with your thoughts, the drama, frustration and overwhelm.
You make decisions every day concerning your children and your career, but a decision about whether to stay or go leaves has frozen you.
You’re ready to step into the power of your inner wisdom and discover the freedom of letting go of blame, guilt, fear and regret.
You’re ready to integrate your mind, body, heart and soul into making a decision deeply aligned with your inner truth, listening to the still small voice buried deep inside of you that already has the answers,
You've wished for deeper intimacy in the relationship, and you're ready to get support to have a breakthrough.
You want to claim your autonomy and agency and take control of the direction of your life.
You're ready to believe that YOUR answer is the only one you need to trust and take action on fully.
Can you imagine when?
With deeper clarity within your marriage, you’re unstuck and free to decide what aligns with your soul's true purpose clearing the path to shift your unhappiness.
You have unlocked hidden emotional patterns and beliefs, so you're free to decide without fear.
You know that adifferent future is within your control, and you have the courage and strength to take the next steps.
Have an unshakeable sense of self, confidently know allparts of you, so you stop second-guessing and trust your intuition in relationships
You've developed good boundaries and no longer tolerate poor behaviour or unhealthy patterns.
You experience the freedom of acceptance, letting go of blame, guilt and shame with yourself, the marriage and your spouse.
You can manage intense emotions, have tough conversations, manage conflict and discover a sense of calm and peace.
You can breathe! You can experience love again and finally step into the next level of your life.
At a crossroads?
Existing in a marriage, you are not sure you want to be in is a lonely, exhausting, boring loop of a merry-go-round which means the inner peace you long for escapes you.
Not only does the gap between you and your partner grow, but also the hurt deepens. Then you can't get back on track even if you want to.
You probably feel negated, anxious, confused, and maybe scared as you struggle to decide. It's not your fault. These are normal emotions to experience. You've been together long, and now there's a lot on the line.
So now, even though you're continually treading on eggshells and feel like you're living a lie, making a decision fills you with panic. If you leave, you're unsure whether you'll regret the decision. If you stay, it's hard to trust that things will change, and you're scared that you will miss the opportunity to discover who you are in the world and the chance to feel truly loved. Precious moments of clarity disappear and don't come back quickly.
Maybe you worry about your children, their future and what change means for your connection with them.
The burden of the responsibility is weighing you down.
If this all sounds familiar, you're in the right place.
Lists of pros and cons aren't always helpful when deciding on marriage. Because deciding on the future of your marriage isn't just a thinking thing. Thinking only gets you so far. This is a mind, body, and soul decision that requires (and deserves) your Whole and True Self.
So what's the secret?
Indecision loses its grip when you make your relationship with yourself the # 1 priority.
YOUR ANSWER IS WITHIN YOU.
You're stuck because your Whole Self isn't invited to the decision-making table with its complexity, wisdom, sovereignty, and strengths. Instead, your ego will decide for you based on old stories, default patterns and fear, so you either stay too long or leave too soon. This route only leads to more of the same and even if you leave you will unconsciously attract someone to repeat the same pattern
The indecision you're encountering is the presence of the unconscious parts of you pulling the other way toward something new. When you rediscover those parts and bring them to the table, you'll experience freedom from ambivalence in your marriage.
When you integrate your conscious and unconscious selves, you change your life because you have discovered the key to creating something new.
The decision becomes more apparent as you develop a bigger view of who you are and connect to your autonomy, vulnerability, and life's purpose. As you discover what it means to be ready to make a decision, you'll develop the courage to make the big changes you want in your life.
Whether you decide to stay or leave, it's a decision you can make with minimal regret. You get to look back with satisfaction that you were mindful of yourself, the relationship, and a choice that becomes the platform for transformingyour life.
Here’s how it works
We start by exploring where you are exactly in the marriage and getting a clear picture of the path ahead.
Step 1: Who am I?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.'
Discover all things that make up your inner world and your powerful feminine archetypes. You’ll learn how these parts show up in your life and shape your relationship. You'll understand the unconscious blocks, needs and expectations you unknowingly have so that you can take a more active approach to change problematic patterns in yourself and your relationship.
Step 2: Emotional mastery to release ambivalence
Learn to befriend your emotions, self-soothe, self-regulate and manage conflict with more confidence. Working with emotional triggers, you'll uncover your deeper fears about your marriage to help you engage with your ambivalence. The triggers will lead to a deep dive into who you really are, what you truly desire and the confidence to demand more out of your life.
Step 3: Reclaim the power of your Shadow
Begin to identify the survival strategies your Ego has developed that now keep you stuck and disconnected in your marriage. You'll develop a new relationship with your Persona and its Shadow and see how you unconsciously recreate past relationship patterns. You'll decide which qualities to cultivate and which to overcome, tapping into the power of the archetypes to become a better heroine in your own story. as you step towards a decision.
Step 4: Cultivating Relational Wisdom
As we continue with the Shadow work, you will understand the impact of projection. You'll know what's yours, what isn't, and what you avoid that you need to own. You'll discover the freedom in taking responsibility for what you acknowledge is yours and clarity from knowing what isn't yours to take on.
Step 5: Finding Your Empowered Answer
As you have come into a new relationship with yourself, you'll see the marriage and relational dynamics more clearly. As you know what your conscious and unconscious needs and want are, you are now able to make an empowered decision. Whether you choose to stay or go, that decision will feel deeply integrated and aligned, and feel integrity for you.
By the end of the coaching, you will:
Have the clarity and confidence you need to know you’re making an aligned decision for you and the relationship. You will understand whether you are unconsciously rejecting love because of fear, shame, insecurity, social or familial expectations (or something else) or whether it really is time to leave.
Unlock hidden emotional patterns and beliefs, so you’re free to decide without fear
Know what’s yours, what's not and what to do next
Experience less fear, anxiety and negative talk
Become conscious of the patterns in your marriage
Know how to maintain healthy boundaries
Regain your sense of self
Have the tools to deepen your relationships
Understand your role in the experience that you are having in your marriage.
Know yourself deeply so you stop second-guessing and trust your intuition in marriage and other relationships
Experiencing more balance, inner peace, as well as, growing courage and self-belief and self-esteem
Feel more accepting of what you cannot change and more in control of what you can.
Showing up boldly as your true self and no longer worrying what others think
12 one-hour private online coaching calls over six months via Zoom (Monday - Friday)
Access my private calendar to book your coaching calls.
Access me via email between sessions for extra support, accountability, or general questions.
Jungian Psychology, Shadow Work and Dream Analysis for deeper transformation.
An expert in marriage, relationships, separation, and divorce, I can support you in whatever you decide to do by helping you to remember that you are whole and a source of infinite wisdom, an expert in yourself.
Kind words from clients
I've been feeling stuck in a relationship but unmotivated to make a change. It is a lot to unpack however, after having a few coaching sessions with Sandra, I left with a different energy. I was able to cast a different perspective on my emotions and what was really behind them, and ultimately it was my choice. Sandra encouraged me to gently take a deeper look at feeling stuck, and the moments in my relationship where I was feeling frustrated. I do not find it easy to talk about personal relationship issues; however, Sandra made me feel almost immediately at ease and trust that she was on my side and there would be no judgment. it was a great experience - a sense of having some control of my own destiny - which was empowering.
I fully believe the deeper self-love and resilience she helped foster in me have carried me through this huge life change. I also feel I am on the brink of some big life changes and new choices coming into motion with more self-leadership, integrity and higher self-esteem, the fruits of the time invested in working with Sandra
Have Questions? We Have Answers.
I already know I need to leave. Is this still for me?
YES! If you already know you want to go, this programme is for you. It will help you understand your relational patternsso you don’t repeat them and carry them into future relationships.
Why the 6-month time commitment?
This programme goes into depth which means that the tools you have are lifelong ones whatever decision you face in future. Each step has been carefully thought out to build upon the earlier one and this is an important part of the process.
Does the coaching encourage divorce?
NO! I am not attached to any specific outcome for your marriage. The programme is about you, by integrating your Shadow, developing agency and autonomy so that you make the decision that is aligned, right for you and your relationship.
Isn't this therapy?
NO. This coaching programme focuses on the future, not the past, moving you forward. Therapy explores your past to understand how and why you think, feel, and act the way you do. It is reflective and explanatory.
Get clear and become confident.
I will lead you to your aligned answer about the best next step and give you the tools to step into contentment and happiness without regret.