Relational conflict and difficulty is an opportunity, with support, for couples’ to grow and transform.
In my experience working with and providing support for couples, two things are needed to set up the work for the most success: time and space. Sometimes, the couple needs more than the traditional couple’s therapy consisting of hour-long therapy sessions once per week, particularly when in severe distress.
For that reason, I provide coaching and counselling to support your relationship where exactly where it’s at.
In traditional marriage counselling, the goal is to improve the marriage. The therapist works with the assumption that both people in the relationship have this as their goal. A marriage often reaches a crisis point – sometimes after years of emotional distance, financial problems, sexual problems, or constant arguing. Sometimes it’s a more recent crisis like an affair or an illness.
When this happens, it’s not unusual for just one person in the relationship to decide that divorce is the only option. This can lead to a new crisis and more emotional pain. Once the legal divorce process begins, the alienation and conflict can escalate, and before long, all hope for the marriage or a constructive divorce is gone.
Intensives are concentrated sessions that provide opportunities for both of you to take a deep dive into your relationship dilemmas.
If the pain of indecision about divorce or separation feels too urgent to work through over months or years slowly, an Intensive may be for you.
Intensives offer a quick and deep entry into your stuckness, identifying how unconscious patterns you’re replaying on autopilot contribute to relationship issues and exploring potential solutions.
Couple counselling is life-changing. And like the pearl sitting hidden in the mess of oyster shell, couple counselling affords a similar opportunity to discover hidden gifts of true intimacy.
The point of couple counselling is not to encourage you to stay together but rather to untangle and make sense of the difficulties and see what you want to create. Whether that’s a deepening of the connection and realising the full potential of your relationship or separating with dignity, respect and compassion. This is very hard to work through on your own.
Couple counselling moves slower than coaching as you discover that the relationship inevitably mirrors each individual’s deep issues from the past. And paradoxically, as you question your commitment to each other, couples counselling requires your commitment and patience.