Understanding how long-term relationships really work helps you set realistic expectations for yourself and your partner. There’s relief in finally knowing the why.
From there, it becomes easier to see what’s healthy or unhealthy and to make clear decisions about the changes you want to create. These blog posts are here to guide you through that process.
When Sally Challen walked free from the Old Bailey in London in 2019, many saw this as a landmark decision for how the legal system treats domestic abuse. European countries, including England and Wales, are taking the lead on redefining domestic abuse. And slowly there has been a build of awareness about a particular aspect of this, i.e. coercive control. Read more
What we have called anger may be abuse – David Richo
You can usually tell when someone is angry. It’s visceral. A raised voice, trembling, fidgeting, fast speech, heavy breathing, the furrowed brow, the clenched hand or maybe flared nostrils. But equally, it can be the opposite. Silence or sudden disappearance.
Often, couples come to counselling naming a problem with anger in the relationship, anticipating that better communication and anger management skills would help solve the problem of endless conflict.
The problem is, however, that abuse and anger look similar. Read more
Gaslighting is a sophisticated, subtle form of emotional manipulation which is so effective that you accept whatever the gaslighter presents as the truth. Read more
When in your relationship do you feel cared for?
Sometimes we feel embarrassed about our wish to be cared for. But Rick Hanson, PhD, says that wanting to be cared for is natural and deeply rooted in evolution. Care is a symbol of love. And love, generally speaking, has been the primary driver of the development of the human brain over millions of years. Care is crucial to survival. Read more
When you struggle with your partner, you’re struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them represents a denied weakness in yourself. – Deepak Chopra
I’m not sure that I agree with the use of the word weakness, but I understand where Deepak Chopra is coming from.
There’s something true in the idea that what frustrates us in others often mirrors something unacknowledged in ourselves.
I don’t know anyone who hasn’t wanted something about their partner to be different. Read more
If the story of your relationship (maybe it feels more like a drama) is punctuated with problematic narcissistic behaviours, sadly, anxiety will likely also play a part. Read more
When the need for self-confirmation becomes extreme, you enter the potentially unhealthy or pathological narcissism domain. Read more
In my previous blog post, I wrote about the story of Narcissus and Echo to give you clues as to whether you are living with someone with a narcissistic personality. If you didn’t read it, click here to check it out.
That post was about understanding the modern-day Narcissus. Now it’s Echo’s turn, and how living with narcissism affects you. Read more
If you’re in a relationship and notice that you have lost your voice, your spirit, feel overlooked, lonely, and that your needs are not important, this classic story might feel painfully familiar. Read more
There are only a couple more days until Valentine’s Day.
So to get into the spirit of the day, I’m sharing thoughts and sayings about love. These are from people who I think you’ll find have something interesting to say about this thing called love.
And I’ve chosen these 20 love quotes because they’re timeless. They’re thoughts not just about happy, romantic love but of the many different types of love and phases of love. Read more