Name: Sandra Harewood Counselling
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This time of year can feel full-on and hectic. There seems to be a never-ending list of demands to meet other people’s needs. It can feel too much.

And that’s not to mention the shopping, planning, cooking, entertaining, wrapping, cards, family and potential worries about money.

The festive season is also a time when you may connect with painful losses and heartache. It’s not that unusual to experience emotions such as sadness, melancholy and emptiness. You might even notice feelings of depression, as if you’re swimming against the tide of celebration, fun and excess.

That can feel exhausting.

The Love Hormone

At times like this, your emotions can feel like they take over.

And in a way, they do. That’s because if you’re upset and stressed, your brain goes into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode. This response is entirely natural. But when this happens, there is likely to be a lot of cortisol (the stress hormone) coursing through your body, and you feel irrational, overwhelmed, and desperate.

At Christmas, this is when you might indulge in delicious chocolates, mulled wine, alcoholic cocktails, cake or mince pies. But there is another way to self-soothe and lift your mood.

What is it? Oxytocin.

Oxytocin is the ‘feel-good’ or ‘love’ hormone. Your body naturally produces it in moments of connection and intimacy, like when you have good sex. This wonderful hormone helps lower your cortisol levels, reduce your stress, and evoke a sense of happiness and contentment.

When you’re experiencing a high level of emotional overload, forget the salted caramels and get the body to release oxytocin. Supporting the body to release oxytocin can help create a deeper sense of calm.

How To Stay Relaxed At Christmas Time

I don’t have a magic wand. Broken hearts and painful memories don’t heal quickly. But taking care of yourself over Christmas can make the time less stressful and more enjoyable.

As oxytocin increases in response to touch and stimulation, hugs and kisses, gentle physical contact, laughter, kind words, and moments of genuine connection can all boost its levels in the body.

That might look like sitting close to someone you trust, sharing a quiet moment with a pet, wrapping yourself in a blanket with a warm drink, or allowing yourself a few minutes of unguarded laughter.

These small, human moments of softness can help signal safety to your nervous system, even when relationships feel complicated or uncertain.

Feeling Good With Stillness

Equally important is meditation. Meditation is a great way to boost oxytocin levels and stay relaxed by taking 10 minutes out for yourself.

Here’s what to do:

1. Sit down in a quiet place. If it feels safe to do so, close your eyes. Put one hand on your body, e.g. on your chest over your heart, on your solar plexus or on your stomach. Just make sure you’re comfortable.

2. Notice how your body is supported by the chair you are sitting in and take slow, deep breaths. Imagine your breath travelling down into your hips, into your legs and the soles of your feet and the earth. See if you can connect to the earth grounding you.

3. Now conjure up in your mind an image of something that represents a sacred space for you or someone who feels safe. This image could be a childhood home, your current home, a place in nature, a person or a pet. Just notice what image emerges and try not to censor it.

4. As you connect to the image, continue to breathe deeply and see what comes to mind. Explore the image and notice any sensations you feel.

5. Do this for at least 10 minutes, or as long as you feel is necessary to notice and take in the more relaxed state.

Breathing deeply and connecting with something sacred or a safe person can trigger the release of oxytocin in your brain, which can have a calming effect. It’s an excellent way to soothe yourself.

Give it a try! Perhaps it could become part of your daily New Year’s routine.

Over to You

What tends to happen to you under pressure — especially in your relationship?

If this time of year amplifies uncertainty, emotional overload, or a sense that something isn’t quite right, working with a therapist can offer a contained space to slow things down and listen more carefully to what’s emerging.

If you’d like to explore this together, you’re welcome to get in touch to discuss whether counselling or relational discernment work might be supportive at this stage. Schedule an initial consultation

Or call me today on 07535 864836.

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About Sandra Harewood

Sandra Harewood is a registered Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, Couples Counsellor and Jungian Coach. Sandra is a specialist in working with women and couples facing crisis or at a crossroads in their marriage. Over the last 15+ years, Sandra has helped 100’s of women and couples transform their lives and relationships. She has a private counselling and life-coaching practice in Pimlico and Bromley, South London. Sandra is passionate about helping couples create conscious relationships and put the soul back into their lives.