Posts

What’s Your Love Language?

Okay, so I’ve missed Valentines Day.  It will come again.  But in the meantime, do you know what your love language is? Read more

Complex PTSD: How Early Relational Trauma Impacts Relationships - Scattered Jigsaw Puzzle - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Complex PTSD: How Early Relational Trauma Impacts Relationships

Complex PTSD leaves you with a lack of certainty about what a loving relationship is, meaning they often feel hard.

I have been working as a therapist for over ten years, and in that time, I have noticed one thing repeatedly. Adult intimate partner relationships are complicated, and sometimes they feel downright impossible.  Read more

Boundaries In Relationships: How To Know White Picket Fence In Front Of Green Shrub - When You Need To Take Control - Sandra Harewood

Boundaries In Relationships: How To Know When You Need To Take Control

So what’s your favourite season? I love the autumn, and it’s definitely on its way! Right now, I’m looking outside my window and noticing the leaves blowing around in the light breeze. Some get blown off, and others cling to the branches of the trees.  And this got me thinking about boundaries in relationships.  Read more

Female Lego Toy In Glass Container With Male Lego Toy The Other Side of The Glasswork Looking In - How To Stay Connected When Social Isolating COVID19 - Sandra Harewood Counselling

How To Stay Connected When Self-Isolating In Trying Times

The world has changed in a couple of weeks.

Less than a month ago, I was happy shaking hands with acquaintances. I was feeling comfortable travelling on a busy bus interacting with strangers and enjoying a conversation with the sales assistant inside the supermarket. Read more

Stressed Woman With Her Hands Covering Her Face - What Your Physical Symptoms Can Teach You About Hidden Stress

What Your Physical Symptoms Can Teach You About Hidden Stress

Over the next few weeks, I’m creating a series of posts describing how controlling and unhealthy relationships with partners who are narcissistically wounded and or emotionally immature can impact your health and your relationship with your body in challenging ways.

Today I’m focusing on stress and your physical health – the mind-body connection. Read more

Man And Woman Laying Down Head To Head Holding Hands - Why Attachment Styles Matter to Your Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Why Attachment Styles Matter To Your Relationship

Have you ever wondered why your partner always seems to want to escape when you argue? 

Or perhaps why you always seem to be the one trying to get them to stay in the room and make things better.

It might all be down to attachment styles. Read more

Box of Coloured Eggs With Painted Faces - Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn't Funny - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Verbal Abuse: When The Joke Just Isn’t Funny

 

Many people assume that verbal abuse is just about swearing.  And some go one step further by thinking that swearing is only abusive if it’s attached to name-calling. If they didn’t call you an #@$%ing [insert], then they haven’t been abusive. Read more

Girl Standing In Front of Brick Wall With Graffiti - The B* Word - Boundaries. Why It's Hard To Stop Saying Yes When You Feel No 1 - Sandra Harewood Counselling

The B* Word – Boundaries. Why It’s Hard To Stop Saying Yes When You Feel No

 

Ever found yourself giving in and putting the needs of someone else first or second-guessing yourself?  Can you relate?  Then you know why setting personal boundaries are so hard. Read more

Frightened woman with her arm outstretched with the word stop written on her hand. The Honest Truth About Your Partner's Anger Issues. Sandra Harewood Counselling

The Honest Truth About Your Partner’s Anger Issues

 

What we have called anger may be abuse – David Richo

You can usually tell when someone is angry. It’s visceral. A raised voice, trembling, fidgeting, fast speech, heavy breathing, the furrowed brow, the clenched hand or maybe flared nostrils. But equally, it can be the opposite. Silence or sudden disappearance.

Often couples come to counselling naming a problem with anger in the relationship, anticipating that better communication and anger management skills would help solve the problem of endless conflict.

The problem is, however, that abuse and anger look similar. Read more

Couple Gazing At Water - 5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

5 Subtle Signs Of A Controlling Relationship That Look Like Care

 

When in your relationship do you feel cared for?

Sometimes we feel embarrassed about our wish to be cared for. But Rick Hanson PhD says that wanting to be cared for is natural, and deeply rooted in evolution. Care is a symbol of love. And love, generally speaking, has been the primary driver of the development of the human brain over millions of years. Care is crucial to survival. Read more