Tragically, the subject of loss has been very present in the collective consciousness this week. When we think of loss we usually do think of death and the loss of a loved one. It can have an overwhelming and painful effect on our lives. But, loss is an inevitable and recurring part of life and it happens in so many different ways. Loss is not just about death and separation.
Sometimes love is difficult to understand. You only know it when you feel it and then you recognise it. When you fall in love you feel bewitched, excited and you see the world differently, it feels full of new possibilities. When you fall out of love you feel abandoned, hurt, and miserable; your heart aches.
This is often the point when you find yourself in couples or marriage counselling.
Whether you call if The Dark Night of the Soul, The Wild Moods or The Black Dog, depression is something that casts a dark shadow over life.
A shadow that maddeningly conceals a vibrancy and aliveness that now alludes you. There’s are sense that you’re a shadow of your former self; the good times have all past, there’s nothing left for the present and you can’t envision a future.
And you’re not alone.
When I work with couples many want to know what they can do in between sessions to deepen the impact of counselling. For others, because things feel so strained, it’s difficult to even contemplate doing that. Sometimes, only the counselling room with the support of counsellor feels safe.
So, I usually see clients for 60 minutes a week; but then what?