Doormat With Oh Shit Not You Again In Words - Why It's Hard To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Say No - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Why It’s Hard To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Say No

It’s painful when you find yourself in a relationship continually giving more than you receive. And yet at the same time, it’s hard to stop being a people pleaser.  In fact, it’s a role that you’ve become all too used to.

And really, why would you want to do that, even to the point of being unhappy, overstressed, chronically resentful, and physically and emotionally ill?

Young woman looking through the train window with a serious mood - Echo's Story - How Living With Narcissism Affects You - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Echo’s Story – How Living With Narcissism Affects You

In my previous blog post, I wrote about the story of Narcissus and Echo to give you clues as to whether you are living with someone with a narcissistic personality.  If you didn’t read that click here to check it out.  That post was about understanding the modern day Narcissus.

Now it’s Echo’s turn.

Man Looking In Three Way Mirror - Is My Partner A Narcissist - The Dance Between Narcissus and Echo - Sandra Harewood Counselling

Is My Partner A Narcissist – The Dance Between Narcissus and Echo

If you’re in a relationship and notice that you have lost your voice, your spirit, feel overlooked, lonely, and that your needs are not important, this classic story might feel painfully familiar. 

Two Red Paper Hearts On A Clothes Line - 20 Love Quotes That Express The True Meaning Of Love - Sandra Harewood Counselling

20 Love Quotes That Express The True Meaning Of Love

There are only a couple more days until Valentine’s Day.

So to get into the spirit of the day, I’m sharing thoughts and sayings about love. These are from people who I think you’ll find have something interesting to say about this thing called love.

Gold Tray With Gold Grooming Items - How To Invest In Yourself - Sandra Harewood

How To Invest In Yourself & Why You’re Not Doing It

If you’ve been thinking about having counselling but haven’t booked a session yet, what’s getting in your way?

Making the decision to start is a hard one.  People usually think about beginning counselling when they’re hurt or struggling with painful feelings.  The thought of sharing those feelings with a stranger can feel scary.  Before you know it, the days and weeks have passed, you’re feeling a little better and besides you’re too busy now anyway.

Woman holding a sparkler on a cold winter day - 3 Quotes For The New Year To Achieve The 2018 You Want - Sandra Harewood Counselling

3 Quotes For The New Year To Achieve The 2018 You Want

Welcome to the New Year and a new chapter in your life!

What are you hoping for in 2018 that would be your opening line?

Two joyful friends having fun in the snow during on a cold winter's day. Christmas can be stressful so it's important to spend some time to relax and take care. This post shows you one great way how to Stay Relaxed At Christmas Sandra Harewood Counselling

One Great Way To Stay Relaxed At Christmas

This time of year can feel full on and hectic. There seems to be a never-ending list of demands to try and meet the needs of other people. It can feel too much.

And that’s not to mention the shopping, planning, cooking, entertaining, wrapping, cards, family and potential worries about money.

Pile Of Lemons On A Blue Plate -The Surprising Ways You Hide Your Anger- Sandra Harewood Counselling

The Surprising Ways You Hide Your Anger

I don’t think anyone likes to be angry.

I’d hazard a guess and say that most people are scared of anger, whether it’s being angry or facing someone else’s angry emotions and actions.  They just don’t like it.  One reason is that anger makes you feel vulnerable.  At other times it evokes feelings of guilt and shame impacting your sense of self and self-esteem.

And anger can feel like a dangerous thing.  That’s because it can be.  

A Holiday Teddy Bear on A Stool - How To Survive Christmas And Reduce Your Christmas Anxiety - Christmas isn't a happy time for everyone. You might feel stamped if you feel a little low without quite understanding why. This post will give you some tips on how to feel less anxious and take care of yourself.

How To Survive Christmas And Reduce Your Christmas Anxiety

Christmas isn’t fun for everyone.

There are many reasons why you might not be looking forward to it.  

Stacked Stones - Mindfulness Meditation - Easy Ways To Be Mindful - Sandra Harewood Counselling

7 Easy Ways To Be Mindful Daily Without Meditating

Last time I wrote about 7 Ways Why Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover.  If you missed part one of the series of click here to read that now.

Mindfulness is a wonderful meditation practice which helps integrate your mind, body and soul. What you cultivate with mindfulness is  ‘presence’.  You become aware of what is happening as it is happening.  And what’s amazing about that, is your brain and body become more connected with other peoples.

A Woman Meditating Outdoors -7 Ways Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover Sandra Harewood Counselling

7 Ways Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover

Hard to imagine that sitting quietly and focusing on the breath for as little as 20 minutes a day can improve your love life.

But hear me out, practising mindfulness can help make you a better lover and life partner.

Teen boy with his feet hanging out of a car window - Teen boy with his feet hanging out of a car window - Childhood Wounding Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling Childhood Wounding Relationship - Sandra Harewood Counselling

A Little Known Fact That Could Affect Your Relationship

We all have a past. It’s part of the unique story that makes you who you are. 

Being overly preoccupied with the past perhaps isn’t helpful; but there are undoubtedly important things from your history which, when worked through, can help you fully experience the present and look forward to enjoying a future filled with rewarding relationships.

I often notice with clients how difficult it often is for them to connect with any childhood wounding.

Telling the story can feel like a betrayal of a parent, particularly if they identify with difficulties in their parent’s story. For example, if the parent was ill, abandoned by a partner, suffered bereavement, or had their own history of trauma. It’s often easy is to connect with and understand the parents’ hurt.

But, what this means is leaving the experience of the child (you) out of the story.