Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you. Robin Sharma
If you’ve been thinking about having counselling but haven’t booked a session yet, what’s getting in your way?
Making the decision to start is a hard one. People usually think about beginning counselling when they’re hurt or struggling with painful feelings. The thought of sharing those feelings with a stranger can feel scary. Before you know it, the days and weeks have passed, you’re feeling a little better and besides you’re too busy now anyway.
If this sounds like you, please know that you are not alone. One of the most challenging and courageous things you can do is to start counselling.
But apart from being busy, money is the other the top reason that people give for putting counselling off or for that matter, other things that would enrich their lives.
So while it’s true that you may not have a lot of extra money lying around, it’s important to realise that often, that’s not the full story. It’s not because we really can’t afford counselling or couldn’t find time for it, but instead, it’s because we fail to recognise the real value in investing in ourselves.
I Can’t Afford Counselling
We spend thousands of pounds each year trying to boost our self-esteem, seeking external validation, numbing painful feelings and pleasure seeking.
Things you might spend your spare money on:
- Expensive TV’s and gadgets so that you are distracted from yourself by scrolling the internet for endless hours or watching back to back box sets.
- If you smoke, the average amount spent on cigarettes each week is £93.10.
- Many of us use alcohol to relax and reduce stress. The average household spends 3% of their income on drinks. That figure is likely to increase if you using alcohol as an emotional crutch.
- The spend on a night out can quickly exceed £100,
- That yoga centre membership that cost £120 per month or other gym memberships that you pay for and don’t use.
- In 2022, 9.2% of the UK population said they had taken recreational drugs. In the year ending June 2022, 2.6% of adults aged 16 to 59 years reported being frequent users of drugs (using them more than once a month in the past year).
- Gambling habits on which you spend unknown amounts.
- Expensive or regular holidays which allow you to escape
- Make-up because going anywhere without it makes you feel inadequate.
Investing In Distractions
The costs all add up.
But it seems something’s not working. Depression is on the rise. Last year doctors prescribed more antidepressants than ever before making the UK one of the highest users of these drugs in Western Europe. And when you’re depressed you might find yourself drinking more, binge eating or having that extra cigarette to make the pain go away.
Yes, of course, you want some fun in your life and why wouldn’t you want to feel better. The fact that you’re buying makeup, going on holiday or buying a new wardrobe might feel as if you are choosing to invest in yourself.
However, at the same time your suffering, symptoms, and what you do to soothe them, may just be letting you know that a part of you needs attention.
How Much Does It Cost To Ignore The Call Of The Soul?
The soul calls your attention toward your divine wholeness in mysterious ways: symptoms, illness, life crises, dreams, coincidences, accidents, repeated experiences, or even peak experiences.
The more you ignore the call to invest in yourself, the louder the knocking becomes.
Perhaps there’s a deepening of the depression which masks the hurt and anger of the loss and abandonment experienced in your life. Or the anxiety becomes acuter as your inner critic, reminding you of the voice of a narcissistic parent, becomes louder.
Maybe your relationship breaks down because you deeply fear rejection, which means you cannot bear to be intimate.
People are often reluctant to engage in couples therapy due to various reasons, including their fear that admitting the need for therapy implies failure or weakness in their relationship.
Additionally, there may be a reluctance to open up about personal problems in front of a therapist or a fear of confronting deep-seated issues within the relationship. All these factors can contribute to the hesitance in pursuing couples therapy, even when it could be immensely beneficial.
Then ‘I don’t have the money.’ becomes code for “I’m scared’. Many marriages end before their time because couples choose not to invest in themselves or the relationship. The investment is in maintaining the status quo.
Invest in Yourself
So what’s the call?
At its core, it is a call to find a place of self-value, self-trust and self-love. In couples counselling, you get to do the for and with each other.
To do that, you have to unpick a lot of beliefs created throughout your life. And equally important, feel the complicated feelings and loss that go with this.
It’s a scary journey because it challenges who you are. Ultimately, however, it’s a journey leading to greater self-acceptance.
Investing in yourself and your relationship is the best investment you’ll ever make. Your soul is waiting for you.
Over To You
How do you invest in yourself? Are you investing money in distractions that could be invested in your wellbeing? Get in touch for a clarity session. It’s time to explore a different way. I offer video sessions online via a secure platform.
Leave a comment below; I’d love to hear from you.
P.S. PASS IT ON
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© Sandra Harewood
Soul Centred couples counsellor Sandra Harewood specialises in working with couples and single women with childhood wounding that impacts their adult relationships. Sandra provides a soulful space for her clients to explore and discover creative solutions to their difficulties and create great relationships.