Last time I wrote about How Playfulness Can Help Improve Your Relationship. If you missed part one of the series of click here to read that now.
Two of the main reasons why couples in long-term relationships separate are boredom and lack of intimacy. So it follows that play, enjoyment and fun are vital to keeping a sense of connection between you and your partner.
1. Create A Playtime Ritual
Remember when you were at school and the bell rang for playtime. I bet you didn’t ignore it, not even when the rain was pouring down outside. Playtime was a routine and yet essential part of the day. Honour downtime in the same way in your relationship.
So yes, it’s great to have spontaneous, impromptu moments. But creating a dedicated time and sacred space to honour your relationship is key.
In this Relationship Time, it’s possible to see each other outside of your usual roles of husband, wife, partner, mother, etc. and see the real soul essence of the person you are with.
And that’s what playtime is about; being authentic, letting your hair down and being just who you really are. Create some time; it doesn’t matter how small and keep it sacred.
2. Remember The Ordinary
Playtime doesn’t have to extravagant.
If you don’t have fun often enough, you might build up to something that has to be big. Then, it begins to feel impossible. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Many of the things that nourish the soul of a relationship are quite ordinary. As a result, they are easily overlooked or set aside when seemingly more important things get in the way.
Notice intimate moments such as a smile in response to simple eye contact or physical closeness. Laughter as a result of a silly joke shared. Or moments of fun from being playful together with your children or pet.
Losing sight of these moments is easy. Try and notice them every day.
Dancing is a great way of having fun and creating a sense of intimacy.
Dance to your favourite piece of music, the first song at your wedding or a song that reminds you of when you first met. And it doesn’t matter where you dance. Dance around the kitchen, barefoot in the garden or cheek to cheek, skin to skin in the bedroom.
4. Flirt With Each Other
Flirting is fun and exciting. Give your partner a spontaneous kiss. Have a fun code to share something that’s just between the two of you. Whisper in each other’s ear. Leave notes on the fridge door or in the car saying something unexpectedly sensual. Send each other provocative text messages.
Whatever worked in your dating days just do that again.
5. Replicate Your First Date
And on that note, remember the excitement of your first date? Make an effort to recreate it.
6. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
What if the obstacles that are getting in the way of you having fun such as fear, are the Soul’s invitation for you to break your old patterns and experience a place of more freedom? That feels empowering to me.
Take some risks together. Learn a new skill such as massage, join a Salsa class or perhaps you could train for a 5k race. Learn to cook or travel to a country with which you’ve both always had an interest.
7. Go And Play In The Park
There’s so much to do in the park. For example, take a boat ride on the lake, dip your toes in the water, have a party, buy an ice cream, play rounders, football or even hide and seek. Or how about having a water fight or for something a little more romantic a picnic under your favourite tree.
8. Enjoy Music
Whatever rocks your boat, jazz, soul, funk or classical, music has a profound effect on the body, mind and soul.
I love the soulful sound of the cello. Check out this up and coming artist Sheku Kanneh-Mason. What moves your soul? Share it with your partner.
9. Have a Bath Together
Candles, bubbles and music, what more could you need? If you don’t have a bath, throw some essential oils in the tray and share a shower instead. Scent and touch are wonderfully sensual and intimate. Try Rose, Ylang Ylang, Sandalwood or Patchouli to put you in a romantic mood.
10. If You Were An Animal
…what would you be? Connecting with your animal energy may come to you through dreams or your gut instinct. Have fun, connect with this energy and try acting playfully from this place.
Rest is vital. It energises that inner child who wants to play and warms the heart.
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. John Lubboc
Try those things. Or choose to sleep in late. Have breakfast in bed and snuggle up under the duvet. If you have children, get a babysitter and check into a local hotel. And you can’t stay overnight check in for the afternoon, have some fun and then go home.
12. Create Things Together
Children are always creating things; Lego spaceships, monsters from plasticine, baking quirky (but delicious) cakes or painting wonderful pieces of art. Get creative with each other.
13. Watch a Film Together
Watch movies that make you laugh or fill you with wonder and inspiration. Take turns to choose the film and take it as an opportunity to explore and learn something about each other.
14. Read a Book To Each Other
Poetry is great, but anything can work. Pick a favourite book, get comfortable and delight in your partner’s voice as they read to you.
15. Exchange Books With One Another
Give each other one of your favourite books and read side-by-side cuddled up on the sofa or out at a cafe. Share what you like the most or what touched your soul.
16. Enjoy a Foot Massage
A foot massage is one of the most intimate and indulgent things you can do for your partner. Create some ambient lighting and benefit from the sensation of touch, whether you are giving or receiving.
17. Go For a Walk
If you can get out into nature that’s great. If not just get walking anyway. You can go to the park, window shopping down the local high street or take a mindful walk going wherever your feet take you. Use your walk as an opportunity to hold hands.
18. Let Your Dreams Inspire You
Dreams are the gateway to the soul. Your relationship has a soul too. Whatever soul in your relationship wants to do, do that.
19. Go With The Flow
Because you can.
20. Use Sex Toys and Games
Enjoy all the possibilities that appeal to you and your partner. Just make sure you’re both comfortable
21. Have a Kidult Afternoon
There a host of activities you can do to get in touch with your inner child. Tamolining, crazy golf, sleepovers in museums, dressing up, the world is your oyster! Check this out for a few ideas.
Laughter and smiling boost positive feelings. Make a conscious attempt to do what makes your partner smile.
23. Daydream Together
Share your hopes and dreams with one another and rather than letting them float away, get creative and create a vision board. Cut out images from magazines, pin them on a board and put it in a prominent place to remind yourselves. Or create a private Pinterest board.
24. Make Video’s Together
Be silly in front of the camera and try making a talk show, filming a short comedy sketch, or even singing! You don’t have to be actors to laugh doing this, and obviously, there’s no pressure to share the videos with anyone else….unless you want to!
Over to You
To explore how to bring out your Divine Inner Child and find out how playfulness can help improve your relationship get in touch and book your FREE 15-minute phone consultation to discuss your situation and how I can help.
Or call me today on 07535 864836.
Soul Centred couples counsellor Sandra Harewood specialises in working with couples and single women with childhood wounding that impacts their adult relationships. Sandra provides a soulful space for her clients to explore and discover creative solutions to their difficulties and create great relationships.