Welcome to the New Year and a new chapter in your life!
What are you hoping for in 2018 that would be your opening line?
This time of year can feel full on and hectic. There seems to be a never-ending list of demands to try and meet the needs of other people. It can feel too much.
And that’s not to mention the shopping, planning, cooking, entertaining, wrapping, cards, family and potential worries about money.
I don’t think anyone likes to be angry.
I’d hazard a guess and say that most people are scared of anger, whether it’s being angry or facing someone else’s angry emotions and actions. They just don’t like it. One reason is that anger makes you feel vulnerable. At other times it evokes feelings of guilt and shame impacting your sense of self and self-esteem.
And anger can feel like a dangerous thing. That’s because it can be.
Christmas isn’t fun for everyone.
There are many reasons why you might not be looking forward to it.
Last time I wrote about 7 Ways Why Mindfulness Can Make You A Better Lover. If you missed part one of the series of click here to read that now.
Mindfulness is a wonderful meditation practice which helps integrate your mind, body and soul. What you cultivate with mindfulness is ‘presence’. You become aware of what is happening as it is happening. And what’s amazing about that, is your brain and body become more connected with other peoples.
Hard to imagine that sitting quietly and focusing on the breath for as little as 20 minutes a day can improve your love life.
But hear me out, practising mindfulness can help make you a better lover and life partner.
We all have a past. It’s part of the unique story that makes you who you are.
Being overly preoccupied with the past perhaps isn’t helpful; but there are undoubtedly important things from your history which, when worked through, can help you fully experience the present and look forward to enjoying a future filled with rewarding relationships.
I often notice with clients how difficult it often is for them to connect with any childhood wounding.
Telling the story can feel like a betrayal of a parent, particularly if they identify with difficulties in their parent’s story. For example, if the parent was ill, abandoned by a partner, suffered bereavement, or had their own history of trauma. It’s often easy is to connect with and understand the parents’ hurt.
But, what this means is leaving the experience of the child (you) out of the story.
Shh. It’s National Quiet Day.
It’s getting more and more difficult to create a space for solitude and silence. The noise it seems is an inevitable part of our day.
And I’m not even sure if, collectively as a society, we know how to experience peace and quiet anymore.
London has the highest levels of noise in the UK. Living in London, I guess I’ve got used to the noise. Traffic, emergency vehicles, people chatting loudly on mobile phones, barking dogs and car alarms are familiar and all rate highly as annoying to adults in the UK.
But the noise doesn’t have to be loud.
An affair leaves a trail of pain, hurt and guilt in its wake. There’s no escaping that.
Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. Whether you stay together or not, an affair marks an ending in the relationship. All of a sudden, the spell of the romantic phase is well and truly broken.
Betrayal threatens your emotional safety. It shakes any sense of a secure attachment. The anger and hurt emotionally split you apart.
Inevitably, things won’t be the same again. How you relate to each other, communicate, how you trust each other and how intimate you are all change.
Last time I wrote about How Playfulness Can Help Improve Your Relationship. If you missed part one of the series of click here to read that now.
Two of the main reasons why couples in long-term relationships separate are boredom and lack of intimacy. So it follows that play, enjoyment and fun are vital to keeping a sense of connection between you and your partner.
Here are 24 simple things you can do to bring back playfulness in your relationship.
We’ve just had one of the hottest summer days here in the UK since 1979. It brought back memories of childhood. The chimes of the ice cream van, Fab ice lollies, getting soaking wet in the paddling pool at the local park and eating chicken on the beach with family.
Glorious summer; it’s a time for play!
Brexit is not only shaping politics; it’s influencing romantic relationships too!
It’s a little under a year ago since that historic vote for the UK to leave the European Union. And as the negotiations get underway, it’s a time of change. We find ourselves in challenging and uncertain times.
For some, this feels liberating and exciting. At last, it’s possible to imagine the end of an unhealthy relationship and look forward to starting over.
Then again for others, nothing could further from the truth. A security blanket has been pulled from under their feet. And what was familiar for such a long time, together with their sense identity and belonging are now all at risk.
And there it is; difference.